Thinking about buts will lead to an affair

I have often said that God's grace does not have a "but" (meaning that His love for us is unconditional and that Christians are free from the commandments of men and the fear of sliding down a "slippery slope" into sin). Many have a hard time with this teaching, and believe that my view of grace is misleading and insensitive to people with moral convictions. Some even respond "I agree, but we also need to __________", fill in the blank: Behave, try hard, etc.

So, I feel the need to clarify:

I WAS WRONG.

It turns out there are several verses in the Bible that DO put buts onto statements about God's grace. Here are a few:

1st John 2:1-2: "My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense ---Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the while world."

Romans 5:20: "The law" (which includes the 10 commandments) "was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Galatians 5:4-5: "You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope."

Colossians 2:20-23: "Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. . . But they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence."


Now you may say that I am pulling verses out of context, being selective, not teaching the "whole counsel of God," and subtly giving people the impression that because Jesus forgives us we can sin all we want and God won't care.

Before you make that leap, however, allow me to tell a brief story:


A few years ago a close friend of mine from high school called and told me that he was addicted to pornography. He viewed nudity frequently and thought about it constantly. He was troubled when he was reminded of Matthew 5 where Jesus taught that entertaining such thoughts is essentially the same thing as having an affair. So, realizing that his besetting sin was becoming a controlling force in his life, he asked me what he should do about it. I urged him to cancel his internet, get rid of his computer, and stay away from Walden Books. He followed through and took these actions, but it only worked for a little while. Pretty soon he found others venues to feed (and even justify) his addiction.

Let me be clear: There are times when actions such as the ones I urged him to take are necessary. In fact, I believe this is what Jesus was insinuating with his shocking statement "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away" (Matthew 5).

There's more to this issue, however. Much more. Back to the story.

A little while later my friend taught me something that I unfortunately neglected to teach him. He said these words:

"Dale, the funny thing is that while I was dating Stephanie, my desire to look at porn was virtually non-existent. I'm not saying I was never tempted, it's just that the temptation had no appeal to me when compared to the joy and satisfaction of simply hanging out with her, reading together, going for walks, listening to her talk about what she was learning in her study of the Bible, and being in a real relationship where I was able to love and be loved."

Years ago a pastor referred to this as "the expulsive power of a new affection." His point was that the way to overcome a love for something inappropriate is to replace it with a love that is much greater, more beautiful, and stunningly irresistible.

Ever meet someone who feels strongly about living by parameters that keep them separate from the culture, but is a rather stern person who gets uptight whenever they hear a sermon about grace that doesn't fit into their preferred genre of systematic theology? That's because they are so busy focusing on how NOT to have an affair with the things of this world that they have forgotten how TO have an affair with Jesus. Their obsession with being right and theologically precise protects them from everything but their own heart, which Jesus said is where our real problem lives and lurks (Matthew 5 again). And that's why I'm glad for a God of radical grace who gets infuriated not at me, but at the sin that attempts to steal my affection from Him (or, as the book of Exodus refers to Him, "A jealous God").

Brennan Manning put it this way:

"Christianity is not primarily a moral code but a grace-laden mystery; it is not essentially a philosophy of love but a love-affair; it is not keeping rules with clenched fists but receiving a gift with open hands."

Remember the but statements in the verses at the beginning of this post? I dare you to take some time to be still and simply think about those buts. But be warned: If you do, you'll get wrapped up in a passionate affair with a Lover who will never stop pursuing you. In fact, His attraction to you is fatal, for it will turn your stiffness into song, your bitterness into balm, and your complaining into compassion.